This is not a full review but a reflection, or check-in, on my thoughts on this story. I hate to say it, but I am not a fan. I feel like I am missing something. Or maybe the story itself is lacking, but there is an element that makes it so I can not connect with this. I started this because I wanted to read stories on school violence and the healing process for those left behind. This story seemed perfect since we were given a chance to look through the eyes of three different individuals, yet there was nothing there. The first person, Claire, is just a ball of anxiety that she isn’t able to attend her classes properly. But here is the thing: she is a college student. The shooting took place while she was in high school, and at the start of the story, we are left to assume that she switched schools. But no, she is going to college. This is important because her interactions with the other characters come off as childish. She meets a few guys at a skate park where her older brother works, and they sound like teenage boys with how they talk to each other. She even refers to them as “boys” and “kids”.

And yes, first-year college students are usually still teens, but they are supposed to be adults, so why is there a scene where a guard gets upset with them about skipping class? I can’t remember a time when security stopped me at school during school hours to ask me what I was doing or to tell me to get to class.

And that is just part of the problem. I honestly can not take her seriously when most interactions are meaningless. The story starts off with her being unable to go to class because she is afraid to get on the bus. Which, fine, that is valid, but you find out that she wasn’t a witness to the shooting that took place, and she had been hiding away the entire time. So why is she afraid of the bus? It isn’t like she is scared of the school either; she is terrified of crowds and some forms of transportation. I say some forms because she is fine with her brother driving her to school. And yes, we ignore the part where a college student takes a bus to school. Not a city but either but an actual school bus with other students. To answer the unasked question, she does not live on campus, so it is not a campus shuttle.

All in all, it feels like the author lost the script when it came to figuring out their characters. Are they high school students or are they adults? This is fiction and even in reality what we fear may not always match the traumatic event we went through but at least give a somewhat plausible reason.

I just read another book with the same premise. A boy was witness to a school shooting, and he ended up getting hit by a stray bullet. As a result, he developed a fear of going to school but mostly of the lunchroom because that is where he was shot. He even developed a fear of crowds because the shooter hadn’t been caught and he was convinced the person was coming after him. Claire’s reason? We don’t know.

I admit that my reflection is subjective. Some people may see the story and read it for what it is: a realistic look into the aftermath of a school shooting. But to me, it looks like an author got stuck in a Wikipedia wormhole of mental disorders and needed to find a story to make it so their character could have all of them.